It’s that time of year again…spring. Flowers, sunshine, warmth. Or this year, cold, wet, gross. But it’s still time for spring cleaning. In my case, that means finally sucking it up and getting my new place organized. It only took me three months to get to this point. No big.
It also means getting rid of a bunch of old clothes to donate. I would donate to Goodwill, but there’s another nonprofit thrift shop even closer to my house, so I’ll probably go there. The problem is getting my inner pack rat to let go.
Letting go of my “fat clothes” is a giant, scary ordeal to me. I’m not afraid of gaining the weight back. In fact, I’m very sure that I won’t get to that point again. But something inside me doesn’t want to give them away.
I’m holding on to the past.
2010 was the year of “should.”
2011 was the year of “want.”
2012 was the year of “almost.”
So far, 2013 has been the year of “doing.” I’m doing all the things I should’ve, wanted, and almost did in years past. Things like living on my own with all my bills like a grown-up. Running a half marathon (something I started dreaming about in 2009). Trying to get promotions at work. Learning to stand up for myself. 2013 has been a year of action.
But even with all this action, it’s hard to just let the past be the past. There’s always that fear that something will happen at work, I’ll get injured, or I’ll revert back to being a doormat. And I think my old clothes really represent the old Caroline.
That’s why they have to go.
I’m never going to forget the old me. That girl is as much a part of me as I am now. And I don’t want to forget the old me, for that matter. I wouldn’t be who I am today without old Caroline.
2009 and 2012. What a difference a few years makes.
So I need to get rid of the “fat clothes.” They’re symbols of the past. I already have the past stored in my head and my hard drive. I don’t need them around cluttering up the present and future.
Or my closet, for that matter.
How intensely do you spring clean?
What are some items from your past you’ve had to part with?