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I’ve been a lazy, lazy girl

I haven’t been active here on the blog recently. At all. Like 2 weeks since my last post inactive. And there’s no reason for it. I simply got lazy.

I got lazy in a lot of areas of my life. I haven’t cooked a meal or packed my own lunch in weeks, I quit working out, and I’ve been doing absolutely nothing on my days off.

It’s so interesting to me how taking a few days off can snowball into just giving up and going back to whatever mundane existence I was living before I started trying. Trying takes effort, and for some reason, I give up on that after a while. It happens every time. I get complacent. I start thinking that whatever I’m doing isn’t that important, and I let other things take priority.

And by other things, I mean sitting on the couch and watching DVR with a bag of popcorn.

How do I combat that?

My goals in life are far beyond sitting on my butt and eating bonbons. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and place for relaxation. But there’s also a time to reach for what I want.

I’ve had a fear of failure since I was a little girl. If I try, I might fail, so I may as well not try at all. If I’m not going to do it perfectly the first time, I just shouldn’t bother.

Yes, I know that’s crazy. Probably because I’m cray cray. But if I want to reach my goals and my dreams, whether it be running a half or full marathon, losing the rest of this extra weight, going veggie (which soooo didn’t happen last month), advancing at work, or just having healthy, happy and fulfilling relationships, I’m going to fail a lot on the way. In fact, if I don’t risk failing, I can’t succeed.

So here I am, dedicating myself to the pursuit of failure and success. 2012 has had a lot of both. I got a job I love, and I’ve gotten pretty stable financially. I have almost a year in recovery from ED. But there are other goals I haven’t met. I didn’t run a half marathon this year. I didn’t lose the rest of the weight. I’m not back in school. But those will come. When I’m meant to have them.

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My life plan 5 years ago is so laughable today because I have so much more than I could have begun to ask for. And the funny thing is…I have none of the things I asked for back then. But I wouldn’t be who I am today if things had happened the way I wanted.

Frankly, my plan probably would have led to divorced and materialistic by 25.

Today I’m going to spend some time goal setting. And then trusting that I will be given everything I need whether I achieve those goals or not.

Just for fun

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

You like me! You really like me!

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I’m feeling an awful lot like Sally Field right now, because Kristin from Run Runner Girl Run nominated me for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I literally feel so unbelievably honored by this. First off, I’m honored that people actually read my random ramblings (ooh, alliteration…I like it!), and I’m also honored that I’m not being nominated for a “get off the web, crazy lady!” award.

Anyways, at least Kristin seems to think my blog is worth reading. Seriously, check her blog out. It’s the business.

So here are the rules for the Very Inspiring Blog Award:

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  • Display the award logo in your post.
  • Link back to the person who nominated you.
  • State 7 things about yourself.
  • Nominate other bloggers.
  • Leave said other bloggers a comment letting them know of the nomination and award requirements.

Ready? Let’s go!

1. I break expensive electronics.

People have may have mentioned that I really shouldn’t have nice things. I’m known for being hell on electronics. Between 20 and 23 I went through probably over 10 cell phones. But, I have kept my iPhone in working order for a year now, and my Kindle’s still kicking after six months. That’s improvement, right?

2. I read constantly.

I’ve loved to read ever since I was a little girl. I read fast, I read voraciously, and I’m always looking for new books. Getting a Kindle as a housewarming gift (thanks, Daddy!) was possibly the greatest moment of my year. I just finished A Game of Thrones, and I’m definitely hooked into A Song of Ice and Fire now. If you have any book recommendations, please, please let me know!

3. I have a tendency to choose sports that aren’t fun.

I had a conversation with a friend last night who also rowed in college. We agree that frankly, there is nothing fun about rowing unless you win and get to throw your coxswain in the water.

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I mean really, there’s just nothing fun about being in incredible pain for 7-20 minutes depending on your race. Also, swimming’s the same way. With running, I have fun, change up the pace, and relax and enjoy myself. With rowing and swimming, if you can walk at the end of your race, you didn’t try hard enough. Seriously, I’ve been told that by coaches. So why did I do them? The same reason I like crushing myself under heavy weights. I love seeing just how far I can push my body before it craps out on me.

4. I text and type with correct grammar.

I am a total grammar nazi. I really hate getting emails that are full of spelling and grammatical errors. I deal with it, because it’s my quirky idiosyncrasy, but it makes me grit my teeth and take a deep breath. Text messages I’m a little more lenient on, but you’ll never catch me writing “you” as the letter “u”.

5.  The Olympics might be the greatest thing ever.

The Olympics make me so happy. I mean, so unbelievably happy I could scream with joy. There’s something about all the countries coming together and the level of competition that gives me chills. I don’t discriminate summer or winter, either. They both make me deliriously happy. And I watch it all. Even the super random sports (table tennis?) that no one else watches, I DVR and watch. Yeah, the Olympics are possibly the greatest thing in modern civilization.

6. I’m a Greek and Roman mythology buff.

Speaking of modern civilization, I actually have a fascination with all things ancient. Greece and Rome are both on my bucket list of places to visit. When I’m bored, I’ll read from mythology on my laptop. If a book or a movie or a TV show involves the Greek and Roman gods, I’m totally down to read or see it.

7. I’m still learning to love my body.

In ED recovery, the thing I struggle the most with is the inability to stop seeing a heavier person in the mirror. When other people tell me I’m thin, or I look great, it somehow doesn’t quite register in my head. It’s a work in progress, but the further I get from active self-destruction, the easier it is to not hate my body. Not hating is a good start—the love will come.

I pass this award to:

Chelsie at www.balancenotscale.com

Katie at www.sassandbalderdash.com

Ali at www.aliontherunblog.com

Emily at www.sweatonceaday.com

Just for fun

Last call

I’m still in a little bit of a congested head fog, and am having a hard time thinking of anything to write, so I stole a survey from Chelsie at Scale Does Not Equal Balance. I read her blog almost every day, and have even had her guest post, so if I’m going to steal from anyone…at least I think she won’t mind.

1. Last food you ate?

Well, I’m blogging post-breakfast, so I just had a bowl of cereal, some almond milk, and a clementine. I’m so glad Harry’s still has clementines because I love them. We forgot to get candy for trick-or-treaters last night (I know, we’re awful), and thankfully we didn’t have trick-or-treaters this year. But I could have given them a clementine. And then prayed that my house wouldn’t get egged.

2. Last beverage you drank?

I had wayyyyyy too many cups of coffee last night hanging out at a local diner with some friends.

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Seriously, I was wired until about 3 am. It was bad news bears.

3. Last workout?

I’ve totally fallen off the workout wagon since getting sick, but I did fit in some yoga a few days ago. I need to get running soon for the half marathon!

4. Last thing you pinned?

How to Gangnam Style.

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5. Last text message you sent?

“Let me know when you wake up.” to my roomie. We have to go pay rent today!

6. Last blog you visited?

Chelsie’s since I stole this from her. But before that, Skinny Runner.

7. Last tweet you sent?

“At the doctor’s office…can I please not be sick anymore? #ihateneedles”. Thankfully, no shots for me! However, my dad did buck up and get his flu shot (fo’ free!)

8. Last place you visited?

Marietta Diner

9. Last time you did ab work?

It’s been a while! Not sure…so I guess today it is!

10. Last show you watched?

Big Bang Theory. Duh.

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11. Last thing you baked?

I haven’t baked in a long time…I prefer cooking to baking.

12. What is the last thing you Instagrammed?

A picture of Sadie, my favorite dog at work right now. She’s only four and has had a hard life…she’s already gray at the muzzle and has no teeth Sad smile. But she gives me hugs every time I come see her! If it works out that I can eventually adopt her, I will.

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13. Last item on your to-do list today?

Set my alarm to make sure I do my long run on Friday!

Take any question and answer away!!

What did you do for Halloween this year?

If you were a superhero, what would your name and superpower be, and why?