Let’s just preface this post by saying that I fully accept and understand that I am a horrific singer.
So to all of you wonderful people who cheered for me last night…thanks for stroking my ego.
Anyways, in case you can’t tell by this post title, I went karaoke-ing last night.
A group of friends of mine go and sing every Wednesday night, but I’ve always declined for fear of not fitting in, or people judging me for my tone-deaf, off-key voice. That, and late nights no longer agree with me.
However, this week I decided to get the flip over my fears and go. It helped that I was with my beautiful roommate, Chels.
Here she is playing an open mic night. Because unlike me, she’s actually an amazing singer. I’ll let y’all know when she’s about to get super famous. It helped to have Chels there, because I knew at least one person would cheer for me.
I get massive anxiety in front of large groups of people. I’m always convinced that everyone is judging every little thing that I do. In really large groups (like a karaoke setting—you know, an audience), the anxiety can be debilitating. Also, let me add, people who go out on Wednesdays for karaoke usually go because they can sing. In my case, I went because it was my Friday, and I wanted to do something, darn it!
My intention was originally to just watch all the craziness. And there was craziness. After all, people who hang out with me must be absolutely nuts. It’s a rule.
However, my friend Noelle talked me into singing with the promise that she wasn’t going to be good either (girl ended up bringing the house down with a rendition of “Fever”…she was unbelievable).
So I signed up to sing some Bonnie Raitt.
I wish I rocked a stage like that woman.
I did my best to give “Something to Talk About” a smidge of justice. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t pretty. I was shaking like a leaf. But it was fun.
Was I self-conscious? Hell, yes! But I’m glad I did it. Conquering my fear and anxiety around people is going to take a long time, and I have to look at small steps like this as progress. If you’d asked me to sing in front of a crowd of people at the beginning of the year, I would probably have looked at you like a deer in headlights, then buried my head in the proverbial sand. This time, I still looked like a deer in headlights, but I went up on stage and did my best to rock out.
I may stink, but at least I tried. Sorry I’m not sorry.